Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
