and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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