So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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