She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
