idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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