I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize