was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
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