i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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