Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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