why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize