i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
She bit a glass in half.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
