You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
