nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Randomize
