So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Randomize