we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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