I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize