well you can't waste a boner
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
