Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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