he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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