when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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