so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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