Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
