can we get nightvision for the apartment?
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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