they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
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