Your face is a jimmy john
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
sex in a hospital.. check
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