You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
