The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Do vagina's smell?
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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