and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
