So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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