based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Randomize
