Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
