My nipple is on Facebook.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
My dick has a subreddit
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Randomize
