never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
