Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Randomize
