Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Randomize
