I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
