Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
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