Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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