just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
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