I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
