Its about making memories worth repressing
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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