Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
