yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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