the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
