Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Actions speak louder than pants.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I didn't notice because vodka
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
