Nicole vs. Life
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Randomize
