I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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