Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
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