I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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