I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Randomize