I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
