from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
dude i'm inner monologue high
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Randomize