I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Randomize
