I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize
