i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
