I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize