I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Randomize
