Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Randomize
