I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
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