you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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