is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Randomize
