dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
smell my finger.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
