i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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