Swine flu. Run for my life!
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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