all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
