Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
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